Moving and moving on…

2024 has marked our 6th year in Los Angeles. It’s kind of hard to believe we have lived here that long.

Moving from Kansas City in 2018 was very hard. Leaving family, where the kids were born and their tight knit friendships, as well as leaving our businesses that we had established was not an easy task. We left KC with heavy hearts, but also anticipation of moving west and building a new life by the beach. The kids were just 6 and 9 at the time!

For me, Kansas City is the longest place that I have ever lived. 11 years to be exact!

Each year that I go back to Kansas City, I feel a little more disconnected. I think once you have been gone for a certain number of years, you do “move-on” in a sense. I was very sad the first few years. I mourned the loss of friendships I thought were genuine. Saying goodbye to our business in KC still makes me sad. We spent a decade of our life, sacrificing SO much, and to see that just be gone in the blink of an eye was heartbreaking, to say the least!

As someone who has moved cities 9 different times over 47 years, I do feel that when you move, you have to move on from that chapter in your life. You can’t dwell on the past, or hang on to things that are no longer part of your day-to-day. This doesn’t mean that you won’t still keep in touch with, or nurture your old friendships through communication and visits. But, you do have to plant the seeds and grow roots in your new town.

It is a weird life transition that is hard to explain!

Moving has a wide range of emotions. Sadness, guilt, worry about the future, and if you made the right decision. It’s also exciting, new, and a good challenge to extend yourself. It is refreshing to begin again.

I remember the first time we went back to KC to visit. We met up with friends for drinks. It was strange because we had been gone a year. But, it still felt very fresh emotionally. My friend Amy, who was sitting at the table was one of the only people that had picked up to call me when we moved. I cried at the table and thanked her. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I was lonely!!!! I missed my KC friends. It was also a realization that everything had changed.

I moved a lot as a kid, so I learned from a young age to adapt to change. I remember finding it very exciting to be the “new kid”! As an adult, it was still exciting but brought on a new set of challenges and emotions.

I was nervous about moving to Los Angeles. But, believe it or not, everyone in Los Angeles is very welcoming. I always tell people this and they seem surprised. I attribute it to the fact that most people living in the LA area are not natives. Many people I have met in LA have moved around and are accustomed to being new to a city.

Once you experience a move, you understand that it’s important to welcome new people. You don’t have to be best friends, but extending yourself to someone new in your area goes a long way! I would say moving as an adult can be a very lonely process, so it’s nice to know you can have someone to lean on.

As a mom, moving is especially hard. You lose your “village” and have to rebuild. Your children will go through a wide range of emotions as well. It’s not easy! As we know, children have a hard time expressing their emotions. So, listening to them, having lots of heartfelt conversations, and acknowledging their emotions is so important.

You have to get out of your comfort zone to introduce yourself to new moms. Plan playdates! Get involved at your kid’s school to meet people. And don’t be afraid to invite someone you just met to coffee.

Being gone for 6 years has made me realize who the long-lasting friendships will be. I can count on one hand the amount of people that I still talk to or see regularly. I treasure the people that come to LA and give me a call, and the ones I will see when I go to KC.

Everyone asks if we will ever move back to KC. As of now, the answer is no. We love where we are at. The kids are thriving and so happy. The cost of living is atrocious, and we have had to change our lifestyle to accommodate! But, we feel it’s worth it. We enjoy California so much, the healthy lifestyle, beautiful weather, 5 minutes from the ocean, and access to the desert or mountains within a few hours drive.

I will always love KC, and it’s always wonderful to go back to visit. It is amazing to see how much the city has grown. It is booming with excitement and entrepreneurial spirit. There are so many new, local businesses popping up all over the city.

While California now feels like home, KC will always hold a huge place in my heart!

xoxo,

Melanie